Memorial Day

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So I took the weekend off of everything. Didn’t work out which is ok. Didn’t clean house. But I got to hang out with 3 of my favorite people, Stasia, Jeff & dad. Jeff worked nights so dad and I hung out. We got to tag team making supper which was awesome. Chilli-lime chicken and sweet potatoes.

The night before dad and I went to sumo sumo. Yum yum. He saw yodie there. I saw the back of her head. A part of me wanted to go say hi, but I didn’t. I didn’t want to betray dad and I don’t think she wants anything to do with me anyway. The dinner was very good tho! And the best part of that night I put Stasia down at 11pm and she slept until 4:45. When I woke up I was couldn’t believe it was almost light out. I wasn’t sure if I had woke up and forgot but then I realized that she really slept that late.

So today is moms birthday. I called her like the nice daughter that I am. We chatted. She asked me if we planned to come down for a visit. I explained that I didn’t think we would be able to come until after I go back to work because of financial reasons. So I told her that we were going to go to Vegas for worlds. She said oh that would be nice but too bad I won’t get to meet Stasia. I thought she would jump all over offering to watch her while we were busy. But nope. Wtf? Like seriously, how selfish are u? Perhaps I’m selfish for expecting her to want to see her granddaughter and offering to help us out. That’s my rant about that.

So I did my Tabata again today. I dreaded it! But it went better than I expected. I was actually quite amazed when I compared to my prior Tabatas.

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Did some lighter deadlifts too. Tried to do some cycling and that didn’t last long. Didn’t have my fancy shorts on and I didn’t have the lift under the front tire. It was super uncomfy.

Off to the tower tomorrow.

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Grandpa came for a visit. Yay! So dad came down for a few days. He got in last night after sleeping in before he left. I’m glad that he did. I worry about him terribly. I wish he would slow down a bit and enjoy life. He’s been working a shut down for the last 2 months and still has a month to go. This would be ok if he didn’t work a ton of OT before hand. He has goals to pay off his house in parksville before he retires, or get as much paid off as he can. I understand his wants but he’s getting burnt out in the process. He’s finally admitted this to himself. I just hope that he will really take the time to smell the roses once he retires at the end of June.

So we went for lunch today at Fomosa’s. They have incredibly good pizza. However I paid for it royally. I’ve been good about not having any gluten for a week and a half until today. I didn’t think I was completely detoxed because I haven’t gone thru my usual detox symptoms. Was I mistaken! It’s like as soon as I finished my last bite, my stomach turned inside out. Silly me. No more gluten for a while. My tummy is supper bloated now too. I’m going to try and fix that with some sushi tonight….I hope. We will see if Stasia allows for that. I figure I should take advantage of a fellow sushi eater being here.

I’m hoping that its going to stop raining too. I’d really like to go sit in the hot tub tonight too. That is providing I can stay awake. Everyone is napping and I’m not. I haven’t been super successful in the napping department. For this I should work on it a little better.

That’s it for now….

Bad day yesterday

Well…what can I say about yesterday? I lost my mojo. I had no motivation whatsoever. I pretty much sat on the couch for most of the day. Stasia wasn’t much help in that regard tho. She didn’t have a great day. She was up till about 2 and wasn’t happy about it. She couldn’t decide if she was hungry or not. She finally slept for about 2 hours and gave me a chance to eat. When she woke up I was able to capture some of her adorable faces.

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I just love her. She finally decided to eat proper at 9. I opted to sleep rather than dream feed her. The night went well.

This am, she woke up just before 8. She was more talking to herself rather than crying. So we got up and hung out a bit before I fed her. I know I feel tons better. Got to brush my teeth before the day started. That makes my day! Had my coffee and a great breakfast. After Stasia went down. I’m letting it settle before heading out to the garage to work out. And waiting….for Stasia to wake up.

Perhaps I should get the measuring tape out…EEK. That way I don’t go to the scale to see if what I’m doing is working.

So I did as stated above and that wasn’t good for the self esteem either. Holy dyna. Oh well, it took some time to get here, it’ll take some time to get back.

Got my workout in…finally.

WTF!!!

So this am I get on the scale…something that I shouldn’t have done cuz it’s gotten me in a rut! I know better to look at the number. I’m better than that! But I caved and looked. The fucking thing says 183. So if last week I was 182, that means I gained a pound. How can that be? I’ve been eating, and I’ve been eating good food. I’ve been working out and I’ve even done more cardio than I’d like to admit to. I did shuttle runs on my own yesterday with no prompting. This is a day one should mark down in the history books. So anyway, it puts me in this horrible place of doubt and despair. What if I can’t get this baby weight off? I don’t want to live in this body forever. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. Perhaps I should get the measuring tape out and go by that. I can’t go by the clothes that I’m wearing cuz I’ve been wearing my moo moos and lulu’s. they just stretch. And speaking of moo moos…I reckon I should be wearing boxers under them cuz my inner thighs rub together and chafe. How do regular woman wear dresses all the time?

Enough about my poor me attitude. I went to the tower yesterday. It was windy as all hell. I worked on the tower which was tough but I managed. My rope pull is a lot slower than last year but I think I can speed that up with a little work. I’m good till about half way up the tower. I just have to work on my grip strength. Oh and I picked up the dummy. Didn’t go anywhere with him, but I did pick him up.

Stasia was being a wiener yesterday too. She was uber fussy and we can’t figure out why. She slept good for the first part of the day but trying to get her to eat was a challenge. She would turn her head and kick and cry. Tried some
Gripe water and that didn’t help. She had a 5 hour sprint where she only ate an ounce. This after the day before she ate like a champ. I’m hoping today goes better. So far it’s not too bad. Tonight will be the deciding factor. She is spitting up a lot again too. Her poor tummy. I hope it develops soon. I almost broke down and bought a soother last night too. I let her suck on my finger before bed and that seemed to be the only thing that would settle her down. I’m surprised I have a nail left. That little girl had a spectacular sucking reflex.

I’m happy to report that you can tell Stasia is growing developmentally. She was staring at her mobile today when we put her in the swinging chair. It was sweet. That and she’s starting to grab more. I don’t think she’s conscious that she is grabbing, but she is grabbing nevertheless. She’s so precious. My heart melts at all these little moments.

We weighed her with our bathroom scale last night. She’s 13lbs if our scale works decently. It’s crazy to think she weighs 13lbs. Sometimes it feels like 20, but that’s because my poor arm muscles aren’t use to it yet.

That’s all I have for now. I’ll post the measurements when I do them. Maybe tomorrow when Jeff goes to work and that way I don’t feel like a ninny.

Eat, sleep, pee repeat…

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My little sleeping beauty….

I can’t believe how much I love that precious little girl. She’s turned me into a softy, that’s for sure. Both in by heart and my backside, but we’re working on the latter.

I had a freak out moment. I worked out and Stasia started crying during my WOD. I let her cry and hopped in the shower. She was in her crib with the door almost shut. So I hurried in the shower and when I got Stasia was quiet. So I went to go check on her and her door was open. My heart stopped cuz I thought Chevy (my German Shepard) had gotten her. I turned the corner into her room, naked as a jay bird to find Fallon awkwardly holding Stasia. It took a while for my heart rate to come down.

So I guess I forgot to hit post yesterday. So I guess I’ll just continue….

So I thought I would get a chance to sleep in a bit. Missy didn’t wake up till 3am then at 6. So I figured she’d be good till after 9. Well I don’t think she went to sleep and then the jackass neighbor behind us started hammering his deck before 8am. I call him a jackass because he still owes us $500 for the fence.

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So I made it to the gym this evening. I loathe Tabata! But I hope it’ll do some good for me. I did some body weight stuff and some light weight squats. I had an interruption and that resulted in…

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I guess she was hungry. She ate 5.5oz. So I ended my WOD with a 10min row. I wish I could say I did it without stopping, but I took a break 😔. Maybe next time. I have to figure out what is best for me. I need to work on both strength and endurance. I just don’t know what is the best route to get there. I’ve never been good at cardio, therefor I think I need a bunch of work in that dept. my strength has decreased so much I don’t even know what to do about that. I never thought that 9 months would have made me this bad. I was PRing my snatch and clean & jerk in aug. I just shake my head.

I have to remain positive. Keep my head in the game. And preserve. My diet has been good. Not great as I’ve had some honey and dairy, a small bit of chocolate. I had a small iced latte yesterday after we walked to Tim Hortons.

On the mommy front, Stasia ate a ton today! I seriously think she ate almost double today than what she did yesterday. I think it’s safe to say she’s having a growth spurt again. It’s funny because I just sent my dad a pic showing him how big she was getting this am

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She’s already too long for some of her jammie’s. it blows me away!

I think that’s all I’ve got for tonight. Good night.

Sat morning breakfast

Got up at 7am courtesy of little missy. She was hungry again. The night feeds went good. Not much spit up, unless it happened and we didn’t see it cuz it was dark. She was up at 2am, 5am then at 7. We tried the whole don’t change the baby’s diaper in the middle of the night…ya that doesn’t work so good. She saturated he diaper and was wet up to her ears. I’m glad it was only pee I woke up to tho.

She was snoring a bit which makes me shiver. I hate that mucousy sound. So I breast fed her in the bathroom with a hot shower on. First sauna ever. She kept looking at the shower curtain wondering what the hell that noise was. After I was empty we came downstairs to have a bottle and have some one on one skin on skin time. Zzzz went both of us.

Little feet came down the stairs shortly after I hit zzz land. It was time to make breaky. Found a fabulous recipe for banana vanilla pancakes with berry compote. I reckon they were awesome cuz Fallon ate 8 of them.

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Before pics

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Well there they are. Me at my biggest. Not super proud, but I can only get better right?

Last night went good after Stasia finally went to sleep. She woke up at 2am and then at 5. One of these days she’ll sleep for 4-8 hours more….I hope.

My day didn’t go nearly as planned. I went to paint the lattice, only to discover there was no color put in the can. Oops. Then I was going to mow the lawn, and that didn’t go over well either. The blade was seized. I found some WD40 just in time for Stasia to want to get up. After that I ran out of juice and have been fighting a nap for the rest of the day.

It was Stasia and I today. First it appeared that she smiled at me. i cried. Then i realized that it was probably just a fart. And the wheels start to turn when you’re all by your self. She has been spitting up and or vomiting a lot more than usual for about a week now. I worry that she’s getting dehydrated. Is her fontenelle getting sunken? I can see her heart beat in it. I’m not sure if that’s ok or not. Oh my little human. She’s still voiding good so maybe I’m just worrying for nothing. We’ll keep an eye on her and see how things go.

I neglected to work out so ill have to make up for it somewhere.