6 weeks ago-present

It was only 6 weeks ago that my life changed forever. I gave birth via c-section to a healthy 9lb 15oz baby girl. We arrived at the hospital at 7:30am. The first part of the morning didn’t go so well and I was worried it was a sign. The elevator stopped on our floor, the doors opened only half way, closed and proceeded to go up a floor. So after visiting all the floors of the hospital we got back to our floor. We got checked in and the nurses came over to explain everything. It was time for the iv. I don’t have any issues with IV’s, but it took 2 nurses and 4 pokes. I offered to start it myself. All I could think is I hope the anesthesiologist is having a better day.

So off to the OR we go. I walked or shall I say waddled in. They introduced themselves. There was 2 nurses that were named Nicole. At least it was easy to remember. They had me sit up on the table and round my back. I was expecting excruciating pain as a needle was going to go into my spine…and I’ve seen the needle. It’s not small. Next thing I know they were telling me to lay down before my butt went numb. Too late I thought to myself.

The procedure started and they still hadn’t brought Jeff in. Mmm, I asked if they were going to get him, before it was over. The nurse ran to get him. Oops. I didn’t feel any pain, but I could feel stuff going on in my stomach. It felt like the baby didn’t want to come out. Then the intern congratulated us on our new baby boy. We looked at each other with excitement, then the doctor said ‘wait, no it’s a baby girl’. How do you mess that up. Seriously. We were both happy that we were blessed with a healthy baby girl. The nurse brought her around for us to see her. As every parent would say when they see their child for the first time ‘she was perfect’…blood and white shemag and all.

We named her Stasia Beth. We really liked Anastasia, however I didn’t want it shortened to Ana. So Stasia it was. Beth was after Bif Naked. Bif is inspirational. Her positive attitude despite the stuff she’s home through is inspiring.

Fast forward a bit, we stayed in the hospital for 3 long nights. It was tough. Fallon was up so Jeff had to take her home and get her to bed at a reasonable time. I discovered what baby blues really meant. I started crying and couldn’t stop. It was worse than my pregnancy emotion. I wish I could have plugged my tear ducts. I had no good reason to cry, but I just couldn’t stop. All I wanted was to go home. Saturday morning finally arrived. We were free!!! Ha ha. Turns out our little healthy baby had jaundice.

We got to spend two more nights at chateau grey nuns. This was the beginning of our breast feeding soap opera. I guess it had started prior to that, but we got 3 different opinions about how we should go about it. Being a first time mom, I was royally confused. We did discover that I wasn’t producing enough breast milk for Stasia to gain weight. I quickly came to the realization that Stasia would be a formula baby. It broke my heart and made me feel inadequate as a mom. I know it’s silly to feel that way, but that’s what my heart felt. It took a while to get over it.

When we finally got to bring our little one home, I quickly realized how much there was to do; laundry, feeding, changing diapers, more laundry since we’re using cloth diapers, washing bottles, trying to take care of yourself. Wowzers! On top of that I would breastfeed for 20min, then bottle feed previously pumped breast milk then formula for over a half hour, then pump for 20 min. Repeat every 3 hours, start to start. You’ve hot to be kidding right. I did that for 2 weeks straight. I’m sure there were days I looked like beetle juice. My saving grace is she’s been a good sleeper since we quit starving her, or should I say since we started giving her formula.

I got into see a fabulous lactation consultant, who gave me some different advise from the last 2 opinions that I had. I said 3 previously, and that’s because the lady that brings the lunch tray tried to help me out too. In fact, her technique was the closest to the fabulous lactation consultants technique. Go figure. So now I’m only BFing for 5-10min each side and then formula. Things are much more manageable now.

Learning how to be a mom has been quite the journey. Learning when to and not to change her diaper. I got peed on 3 times in one day, twice in a half hour. You learn that there are different cries. It especially unnerving when you discover a new one, like when Jeff was at work and out of a dead sleep she started screaming as though someone was killing her. I haven’t figured out what that one means yet. I think she knows when he goes to work though. He puts her to bed when he’s home. That’s his thing, and he’s very good at it. She seems to know when her daddy doesn’t put her to bed, because she turns into this tiny devil. And it seems like every single night shift thus far. I hope she grows out of that.

Most of the time she’s been an angel. We’ve brought her out many of times and she’s been super. The perfect baby. I couldn’t ask for more. She’s been sleeping up to 4 hours a night. I know I shouldn’t brag about that, but I am.

So enough about her, lets talk about me for a bit. So I gained roughly 40lbs through my pregnancy. My goal was to stay under 200lbs. I think I was 204 at the end. I didn’t get on a scale right away and figured that I’d eat good but not go on a strict diet because I was going to BF. And your suppose to lose weight when u BF. Ya, I had no self control and continued to eat baking and Nutella and peanut butter and chips. My paleo diet was so far away I don’t think I’d even recognize it anymore. So I gave myself till my 6 week check up. That was yesterday.

My night wasn’t as restful as I wanted and jumped in the shower 1st thing. My intension was to weigh myself, post a pic of the scale weight and a before picture. Sorry friends and loved ones. Once in the shower I realized I didn’t weigh myself. So I said screw it and got on the scale and took a pic. It said 184.5. I was mortified, not only because of the amount that I wanted to lose, but my feet looked awful. I was in a hurry to get out the door on time, so I decided I would try again tomorrow. Which is today, the scale said 182. It’s not much better than 184, however I had dry hair. I was going to post the picture but your just going to have to believe me. Upon examination, I noticed that you can see the reflection of me in the glass scale. I don’t think I want my naked parts being posted for free on the Internet.

So I now have to figure out how to get my workout on. I know I have to take it slow and not have expectations that I can do what I use to, however I want to be able to do what I use to. There’s a part of my brain that thinks I should be able to. I guess we’ll see what happens. I don’t have much time because Firefit is in one month.

So speaking of a long way to go, I put winter clothes away today and brought out all the summer stuff. I might say that I’m a tad depressed because of how much work I have to do, especially in the ‘junk in the trunk’ area. I tried to get into my pre-prego fat jeans, and I think it’s going to take a miracle to get into those, let alone my regular ones. Thank god for lululemon.

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